the one where i dont know...

here we are. back here at this oh-so-familiar keyboard. somehow i think each time i write or type something it will sound better; more profound. it doesnt.

life is about to pick up about 900 miles per hour. literally. and for once i am okay with that. i am tired of having free time to just think...thinking should be off limits for me. you know like when you were a kid and you would go into the dishes section at dillards or something and your mom would make you put your hands behind your back...thats me. all the time. "alison, just put your hands behind your back and try not to break anything." cause then if i do break something, i've screwed everything up again. thank the Lord that i haven't broken anything lately. or at least if i have it is still in the process of falling apart.

i am fighting with my dad. hardcore this time. he hung up on me in the middle of a conversation the other day and he never does that. ever. he's pissed about me and school, and how my mom doesn't give a flying rat's left leg about me and helping out or whatever. he keeps asking me, "do you think its fair for me to have to pay for everything on my own" well first of he doesn't really pay for anything. he helped me get my car fixed. i paid for all of my school on my stinkin' own. and does he really think its fair that i still have to choose sides between them although the divorce was 4 years ago?! i mean really...who got the shitty end of the deal here?

i think i am gonna do whatever the hell i want...