from the floor.

the sun dances from the sky, darkness somehow won
it threw the light from the sky and now the day is done.
things are quiet now, i am left alone.
searching for a place to rest, a place that i call home.
is it in the darkness? or maybe in the light?
searching is such a daunting task, and its getting hard to fight.
i fight the demons in my head, i scream and shout for rest
i find that i'm no better, it seems i've failed the test.
when will this raging war stop knocking at my door?
will i ever rise again, or be lifted from the floor?
i feel so abandoned, so forgotten and so lost,
it seems i havent thought this through, i've forgotten what it costs.
its not about me, and never will it be.
and yet i continue to fight this war, thats waging inside of me.
"you're not worth it all" i hear the enemy scream.
i want this all to go away, i want it to be a dream.
it seems my father cant hear my voice, whispering in his ear
maybe i am not loud enough, but his promises are clear.
"never will i leave you" i quietly hear him say.
but i cant seem to feel him near while i'm travelling on this way.
my savior responds, "i hear your cries, your plea"
yet i dont understand why he wont speak up, or simply speak to me.
the enemy grows louder, shouting in my head
"you have nothing you could offer, you're better off just dead."
i cant stand his voice, it makes me weap and cry
where is someone to speak the truth in this world filled with lies?
"never will i leave you" i hear my jesus call,
"i want to replace the lies with truth, and catch you when you fall."
then jesus you have to help me, i cant do it without you.
you have got to get me up, and show me what to do.
"hold fast to what i have promised, dont give up on me;
the battle is not won here alone, just wait, my child and see."
"never will i leave you" i hear my savior call.
and i finally i'm beginning to trust him, to catch me when i fall.

people.

just because people do horrible things doesn't mean they are horrible people...

shes home.

she sits on the couch surrounded by people who are real, and honest, and family. finally she belongs. finally she fits. finally she is wanted. and she couldnt be more confused about it all than she is at this moment in time. she knows what the days ahead hold. they hold both hope and joy along with pain and suffering. the lord has so much to deal with in her. these people here will be her refuge. these people will poor so much life into her. and she is scared. up until this point in time she hasnt known true community. she hasnt known true, life giving community. the laughter fills the room and joy is there. tears are shed and the joy remains. prayers are heard. food is eaten. fellowship is enjoyed. life is real and good. and there is hope. there is always hope. she knows this and yet she is afraid. pray for her. this is all new and the next few days, or even weeks will be hard and rough and good. and in the end life is new. she is new...

moving

hey guys. its been a little while since i posted last. so much has happened since then. so so much. the lord continues to show his goodness and faithfulness. as many of you know i have been desiring to move out of town for sometime now. well, it looks like its happening. i will be moving to dallas and escaping temple for a little while. life is waiting. real, rough, abundant life. and i could not be more excited. pray for me as i begin this journey. come with me. it could be quite interesting.