night-time

there is something about the way night sounds here in texas. maybe its in the majority of america, but i only really know texas so i will keep it limited to that. there is just something about the night-time sounds that brings comfort and peace to my ever so unsettled heart. the crickets, or maybe its locusts -i dont know really know, but we'll pretend like i do. its comforting. it peaceful. and i think something about those sounds reminds me that all of creation is waiting in expectation of fathers return. those sounds let me know that i am not alone when it so often feels that way. someday...i will miss that sound.

tonight was a hard night in a lot of ways. nothing in particular happened that was awful or life-altering, it was just hard. a lot of emotions were felt again, and i wouldnt let myself cry. maybe i should have. its ok to cry. but something inside me says not to. "dont let people see that you are weak." ...who cares anymore.


"take not thy presence from me. for i desire to know you more. for you are worthy of all. you're worthy of all i am and more. i need to set my mind on things above on the holiness and glory of my god. in the heavens and in my heart you created a mountain and who set a spark that grew into a flame that burns deeply for you. overwhelm me. take me from this place and put me in the place where you are. overwhelm me. shake the ground i stand on, i want to be dependent on you. i stand before you king. filthy. unworthy. you still wash me clean. and say to me my child you're worthy. i need to set my mind on things above on the holiness and glory of my god. in the heavens and in my heart. who created a mountain and set a spark that grew into a flame. overwhelm me. shake from this place and put me in the place where you are. overwhlem me. shake the ground i stand on i want to be dependent on you."